Our Buddy Zeus

Our sweet, big bear-cub Zeus (almost 11 yrs old) was laid to rest last night. The first thing I said to Aaron this morning was, "It can't be true, can it?" But, there was no thumping tail to greet me as I walked down the stairs, no eager eyes begging for a little tidbit as I fixed the lunches, no lapping noisily from the water bowl before heading out for the morning sniff, no one to clip to the empty leash. The gap is so big and so wide that it feels that it cannot be filled.

If you would like a play-by-play, I would be glad to talk to you individually. But in a nutshell: cancer had likely riddled his spleen and eaten away intestinal lining, but it was severe internal hemorrhaging after a morning biopsy that signaled the end. He showed no outward signs of internal distress until this last week, so we pray that any suffering was minimal and short-lived.

After a morning of testing, I was able to bring him home for a peaceful afternoon yesterday. So very thankful. He waited on the front doormat for Anna's bus, and she greeted him with the biggest smile I've seen in a long time and an exclamation of "Zeus, you're home!" Shortly thereafter, he went around to the back yard and settled into his favorite spot, overlooking the creek and with a great view of trees, squirrels, and birds. He began labored breathing and could no longer get up, so the girls and I collapsed in the grass around him. We set up a fan to blow away the swarming bugs he no longer noticed, stroked him, talked to him, prayed over him, reminisced about many happy things, loved him, and cried buckets (all four of us). When Aaron came home, he drove his Jeep around the back and gently lifted our sweet boy into the back. We all escorted him to the vet. We were all able to talk to him, to stroke him, to love him, and to offer final farewells. He never moaned or cried out, but quietly endured to the end. Maybe for the first time in their lives, the girls saw both of their parents weep openly and unashamedly.

Thank you to all of those who loved him and who cared for him in different ways over the course of his life. He was the best dog we could have ever asked for and so solidly enmeshed in the fabric of our lives. Come see a photo album of the memories next time you're in town. The pictures below were all taken yesterday-- w/ me in the morning and w/ the girls just an hour before he died.